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Shrinking Woman

Hello Friends,
For all the girls out there who struggle with the weight of the women that came before them.
For all the girls who struggle with ignoring calorie counts and just being.
For all the girls who love themselves but hate their belly pooch.
For all the girls who wish they could just lose that last ten pounds and then everything would be okay.
For all the girls who are learning about their own body image through their mothers’ attitudes about themselves.
For all of us . . .


Raising Girls to Own Their World

Hello Friends,

“This is their world and they own it.” Yes, they do. Keep doing what you are doing mama. You are raising them up beautifully. As a mother of three daughters ages 28, 16, and 14, I can tell you it is a glorious and beautiful thing to watch our children grow and find their place in this world, this world that is theirs.

The quote above is the comment I left in response to a post Rebecca Woolf wrote on her blog,Girls Gone Child This is a fantastic blog. I have followed this blog since her older daughter, Fable, was a baby. It is the place I go when I want to feel good about my parenting and the parenting that others are doing. Her children are lovely. Her approach to parenting is so good and full of love and truth. Her photographs are to be gazed on with joy and pleasure. Her posts are well-written and truly insightful, whether she is talking about the Bronie phenomenon, marriage, or vacations.

Go read her now, but start with this post. This is where she talks about girls and beauty and society and power. Start here for she has written what I wanted to write and she has written it for all of us. So, let’s cut to the chase, shall we?



10 Things I Like About Myself

Hello Friends,

I am participating in a link up party this morning. Join us on this fun introspective journey of self awareness and love.


Avoiding Atrophy

Women can be incredibly self-critical and that negative self talk can be paralyzing sometimes. How many of us have experienced the “getting ready for the party tantrum” where you try on every decent item of clothing you have, look in the mirror in complete disgust and then throw it to the floor in shame saying to yourself things like: I am so fat! I can’t believe I am such a cow! How can I even go out tonight? Nothing fits! I look awful! What am I thinking?

Yeah, that is what I thought. The getting ready for an event is always something I have to psych myself up for or it ends terribly. My husband is a somewhat public figure and I quite often have to dress appropriately and accompany him to various civic events. So, I have to look appropriate, but I also want to look nice.  You know. Confident. Pretty.

Well, that is a tall task if I am giving myself a hard time for the state of my skin, hair, thighs, you fill in the blank. My husband knows to just go wait in the living room, patiently, for me and to steer clear of our bedroom as I work my way through to the place of peace where I can leave the house with a smile on my face.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could just go get dressed and enjoy myself? Because really, the first outfit, the fifth outfit, and the final outfit are not that different, are they? What is different is the mindset we finally gravitate to. That place we arrive when we have gathered ourselves and come to peace with who we are, in that moment. I want to get to that place more easily and more quickly in the future.

This may help.

Ten Things I Like About Myself

I am tall. I am 5’9″ and I love being tall. I love being able to see over people. I love the look of the statuesque. I love that I can carry off looks that are more dramatic and glamorous.

  1. I am generous. I want everyone in the world to be okay and I work hard to help as many as I can.
  2. I believe in the healing power of love. I think we all need more love in our lives and I think we can all share more love with those around us. Every time I do something form a position of love, I win. Every time.
  3. My legs are long. This means in the right pair of jeans my legs go forever. In a pencil skirt I can look downright sexy with all that calf, crossed at the knee, moving into heels that accentuate the length.
  4. I am a reader. I read a LOT. I have always been a voracious reader and I am happiest nose deep in a great book. Serious book lust.
  5. I am a pretty great cook. We entertain quite a bit and I do all the cooking. I love to cook and I have a sort of instinctual natural sense of what works in a recipe and what doesn’t. So, I trust myself in the kitchen and am pretty successful at it.
  6. I have a classic bone structure. Classic in that old fashioned way. Long nose, high forehead. . .
  7. I am a good mother. I have four children and they all know they are loved. I have worked very hard to raise polite, thoughtful, self-reliant, and loving children. I have a good relationship with them all and we are all doing well.
  8. I have amazing parking karma. I always find a great spot. I don’t understand it, but the spot is always there and I can always fit whatever I am driving in it. I can parallel park in two moves. Truth. Two moves. Every time.
  9. I am a really good teacher. I still have relationships with my former students. Many of them went on to Cornell, Stanford, Princeton, Oberlin, Reed etc.. I taught my students to demand great things from themselves and to live bravely. I am a good teacher.

Okay, so that was hard! I found as I cam up with ideas about what I like about myself I wanted to quantify each one, or at least rationalize a bit. You know.

“I have great legs and when I lose twenty pounds they will really be something.

I am a good mother, at least I think I am.”

Why do we do that to ourselves? I was taught to be humble and I am betting you were too. Humility is one of the virtues, isn’t it? Well, just for today lets be less virtuous and more loving to ourselves. Okay?